Category Archives: Blog Posts

It’s been about a month since I posted to this blog, and that’s because I just spent the last two weeks or so traveling to and from Uganda to see the work of Musana in person.

Musana is the local word for sunshine, and this place is such a light in the communities they operate in. I’ve been involved with Musana since my first trip there in 2012 and it’s amazing to see how many people have been positively impacted by them in the past eleven years.

Their model is entirely based on self financial-sustainability. They use funds from US donors to buy land and build buildings so that local people can build businesses that are financially self-sustainable. Take, for instance, their schools. They operate 6 schools in total and each is excellent, excellent enough to charge a reasonable amount for tuition. This tuition includes a healthy profit margin that is used to support outreach programs, such as scholarships for the neediest and most vulnerable children.

I couldn’t endorse the model more and encourage everyone to check it out for themselves. Take a look at the website which goes into depth about how it all works.

This post by Anna really resonated with me. The people who have held the space for me when I’m anxious have been some of my most healing moments. And being someone to hold the space for others in their moments of anxiety has been some of my most privileged times.

I recently got this phone case for my iPhone 13 mini. I keep getting lots of comments on my case. I usually go for a plain black or clear case, so this is the first time I’ve ever gotten so much attention for my case.

Feels really solid. The recycled materials make it look fun. It’s got a bit of grip to it. It has a pretty good lip around both the screen and camera array. I recommend.

Ruth, as you may remember, joined our family a few months ago. She and the dog Stanley don’t get along, but she has been such a wonderful addition. She’s so playful, and she gets into absolutely everything. The other day I left my sock drawer slightly ajar and I came back a few hours later to 90% of my socks on the floor.

Because of that we call her the chaos demon. Hear weird sounds at night? “Oh that’s just Ruth the chaos demon.”

But she is SO sweet, her fur is SO soft and when she chooses to sleep on you and purr, you feel like you’ve won the lottery.

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve really let you all peek into my day to day life. Life has gotten very busy on several different fronts and taking the time to write about it publicly felt both too time consuming, and too vulnerable.

• My boss at work has been out on paternity leave for the past several months, and it’s been busy filling in all the places he was contributing. But in some ways it’s been really nice to have a slightly freer hand to approach projects my own way.
• My eldest son and I are preparing to go to Uganda to lead a Vacation Bible School (VBS) with our favorite organization. I’m co-leading this trip with a good friend, and we’re taking 30 people. (!!) It’s been a VERY busy season preparing cultural trainings, making lists of supplies, and coordinating all the logistics.
• My youngest has experienced a number of mental health challenges lately which included a bit of time in the hospital. Our relationship has grown by leaps and bounds and we have overcome a lot together the past several months and I am so proud of him, and proud of us for how we’ve navigated this season with him.
• The church youth group has been wonderful but also challenged my time management skills. We’re now meeting high school and middle school on separate nights and I’m writing content for both small groups and trying to fill in the gaps where we don’t have a point leader in place.
• I’ve been loving being back on the bike, but I’m only getting the time to ride a couple of times a week. The weather here has been wonderfully cool, and unseasonably wet which I will take but it has limited when I can ride pretty significantly.

I got a new bike recently! I have not had as much time riding it as I would like but it has been awesome the miles I’ve put on it so far. 💙

I’m not entirely sure when I first really thought about foster parenting but I am sure it had to do with my love for super hero stories.

Whether it was Kal-El fleeing his home planet and being found by Martha and Jonathan who raise him to become the hero earth needs.

Or Bruce Wayne who loses both parents in a brutal murder and dedicates himself to fighting for justice. Or Peter Parker who loses both parents and is raised by Aunt May and becomes a crime fighting hero in NYC.

The idea of a kid who can endure such significant adversity but can overcome it to become a hero has always been a common theme in super hero movies. And while flying, x-ray vision and vigilante justice all sound fun, I always thought the part where people were loved into being the best they can be was something I could actually do.

I have always thought that everybody deserves to have someone who really believes in you, never gives up on you, and loves you towards healing. And I have always been dumb enough to think why not me.

Somewhere along the way I encountered foster care. And I didn’t really understand it, and I definitely asked a lot of dumb questions and made even dumber assumptions. But seeing in real life people believe in and love and root for kids was amazing. This is what I want to do with my life.

So I went and did it. There’s commitment. There’s scrutiny. There should be scrutiny. I’m raising someone else’s kid. I should try my best, and learn from my failures, and be able to explain every decision to a whole team of people.

I should cherish the victories — because they are few and so very delayed — but so sweet when they come.

I am stubborn — you have to be. I have wanted to quit nearly fifty-million times. I would love to quit, I would love nothing more than to walk away and never do this again. It is a burden to come alongside someone hurting and to share in their pain (even in such small ways). And when it is too much and all I can think about is quitting — I think about how this kid didn’t choose the pain in their life and I can’t quit on them. I think about what a wonderful future they will have if they just don’t give up.

And if they can’t give up — neither can I.

Honestly. It’s the best worst thing I have ever done. My kids’ stories are not mine to tell but if there’s anything I could do to go back and ensure they never had to deal with what they did, I would do it without hesitation. The next best thing I can think of is to show up, never give up, and always love them towards healing.

May is foster care month, and many people reading this are going to have different experiences with foster care ranging from the ignorant, to the abusive, to the positive to everything in between. I don’t think everyone should be foster parents — there are too many bad ones as it is — but goodness gracious could we ever use a lot more good ones. And, in my opinion, being good is mostly about not quitting, not being too self-interested, and loving kids towards healing.

Anyone can help. Everyone can do something. You need not turn your world upside down and become a foster parent, but can you do something simple for those who do? Here are a few ideas:

• Find your local CASA organization. Offer them toys, backpacks, school supplies, tickets to your local water park, or a donation. Our kids’ CASAs have been amazing and have connected them to awesome experiences that let them just be kids.
• Find a local foster closet and sign up to be notified when families need clothes, school supplies or even furniture like beds and dressers.
• Check to see if there are any kids nite out programs where you live. You can hang out and provide childcare for families so they can have a night away and know their kids are well-cared for.
• Support the expansion of Medicaid by calling your state legislators. It’s literally been a life-saver for us and we’ve spent a total of something like $4 in out of pocket medical costs since we started fostering. No family should wonder how they will pay for expensive medical costs.
• Check with your local agency or county to see if there are things they need help with, especially for things like supermarket/gas gift cards. With food and gas so expensive, sometimes families can be right on the edge of making it and a little help on gas can make all the difference.
• If you know a foster family, offer to hang out with their kids, bring them food, mow their lawn or other practical help. We are (or at least, I am) often very bad at allowing other people to help, but you never know when it could be so timely.

And finally, if you do want to foster, I couldn’t recommend it more. Work on yourself, prepare for a roller coaster that won’t let you go, and just never give up and you’ll make it. And, please, don’t overlook the older kids. Their behaviors and histories will sound scary, but fostering teens has been the highlight of my life. And while I have spent a few sleepless nights worrying about my boys, or sitting in an ER waiting for the doc, I’ve gotten way more sleep and changed far fewer diapers then most parents.

When I set up this blog I told myself I wouldn’t let it devolve into constant complaining and bellyaching like so much of my social media experience.

Don’t get me wrong, I love complaining. And it’s cathartic. But sometimes all I see on social media is just complaint after complaint after complaint and sometimes it is too much.

But sometimes it you just gotta complain. And today will hopefully be one of those rare times.

I am really starting to get sick of Apple software. I don’t know if there’s a better experience, but my experience with Apple software has severely degraded in recent years. Let me get some of it off my chest:

A recent software update completely changed how my work Macbook Pro handles my external monitor. I have a USB-C hub on my desk to give me a single cord to my work laptop, I can plug my laptop into this one cord and it gets power, my external web-cam, my wireless keyboard (which is not bluetooth), and my external display. For a year this worked perfect. After the most recent Mac update, if my Mac wakes up before my display, all the text and images are blocky. It’s like the resolution is turned down way low but the display is blowing it up, but I’ve checked (and tried changing) the resolution a few times and it never fixes it. The only solution has been to unplug the USB-C dock, let the Mac go back to sleep, then wake up the Mac again before the display sleeps. Sometimes this takes a few tries.

I haven’t even been able to get this to work by turning the display on first. The past 2 or 3 weeks I have been consigned to trying to get this to work by spending the first five minutes of my day fiddling with cables and trying to get the timing right.

Heaven forbid I should leave for a bit and come back to my Mac going to sleep or I get to do this all over again.

My AirPod Pros are stalking me. If I take my AirPod Pros anywhere, when I arrive home I get a notification that someone else’s Airpods are being used to follow me. I appreciate the privacy alert, but these are my AirPods.

I think there may be something wrong with how they are set up. When I go to ‘Find My’, it tells me it can’t locate my AirPods (even when they are in my hand, connected to my phone and Find My tells me they are ‘with you’) and that my setup may be incomplete. If I follow the support article for how to ‘complete’ my setup, the button it tells me to push does not exist.

AirTags are great but please for the love of all that is holy allow us to share location with family members. We have an AirTag on the dog, it’s awesome. It’s on my wife’s account. I take my dog for walkies every day, and every day when I get home I get a notification that someone can track me with a stray AirTag. I know! We share our phone’s locations. It’s not a big deal.

If you’re not going to give me AirTags that are feature complete with the rest of the Find My devices (I can see locations of all of her devices, and she can see mine) at least allow me to disable this notification for this AirTag. I’m only allowed to disable this notification for 1 day, which means the next time we go for walkies I get the notification again. Apple if you are going to say that you know best — well, you just don’t.

Speaking of USB-C and displays, an update broke my Dell USB-C display, then another update fixed it. I have another display on my desk that I recently got from Dell which is natively USB-C. I put my personal MacBook Air on this next to my work display. When I first got it, the USB-C cable worked great. It delivered power, connected the ports on the display, and connected the display.

Inextricably after a Mac update, the display stopped working. Power delivery worked, but not the display. I’d get a notice on the display that there was no signal detected. As a work around, I connected two cables, the USB-C one for power, and another HDMI->USB-C adaptor so I could still use the display.

Fortunately another Mac update a few weeks later fixed this so I’m back to my single cable glory, but I am really starting to worry about applying software updates.

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There is more I could say but this has been cathartic enough. Maybe I’m just getting old but the thought of trying to switch to Windows or Linux just sounds too much. I’ll just pray that Apple gets their crap together.

So, picture this. A particularly devout religious group with a fairly strict sexual ethic that pushes a fairly particular moral viewpoint currying favor as a loud and sizable but minority political group. They shun outsiders and those who do not share the same ethical or moral framework and actively work to punish those with differing views. Viewpoints are polarized, everyone is at each other’s throats — it looks like civil war is about to break out.

Am I summarizing politics across the US, with the recent fights over book bans, transgenderism, and abortion? You would be forgiven for thinking so, but I am actually thinking of life when Jesus walked on the scene. But, as they say, history may or may not repeat, but it definitely rhymes. And I can’t help but think that our present moment rhymes a lot with what life looked like when Jesus walked onto the scene.

I was reading some threads on a couple of local sub-reddits absolutely denouncing religion in general, and Christian churches in particular. And I kind of nod my head along. I think the criticism leveled can sometimes be quite spot on.

I identify as someone who follows Jesus and I look at a lot of churches and Christians and just think, how did we get so far off track?

Over and over again Jesus conflicted with people who, I think, were very well meaning and wanted to show their love, devotion and piety towards God but they did it by hurting the people that God loves. Which, turns out, at least according to Jesus, is not a good way to show your love, devotion and piety towards God.

When Jesus’ cousin John was beginning to wonder if Jesus really was everything he thought — John sent messengers to Jesus to ask. And Jesus’ response I think is telling: Go back and report to John what you have seen and heard: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is proclaimed to the poor. Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of me. (Luke 7:21-22)

When Jesus is directly asked whether or not he is the One, his answer is: look at all the good I am doing for marginalized people.

Not look at how many sinners are turning from their sins.

Nor look at how many adulterers have been beaten.

Nor look at how many lost people we told to go to hell. (literally)

Not even: I am the one prophesied of old, the one predicted to come.

But: we are taking care of and helping the least. The people the world is forgetting and trampling down upon are receiving a new life. Jesus hangs his hat entirely on how well he takes care of people.

And with that in mind, the early church spread like wildfire. The church had a very particular (and peculiar for the day and age) ethic for most things, especially sexually — but what it never lost sight of was the blind receiving sight, the lame walking, lepers healing and more. Roman Emperor Julian famously denounced Jesus’ followers in the 300s as “impious Galileans” who take care of not only their own poor but Rome’s as well:

These impious Galileans not only feed their own poor, but ours also; welcoming them into their agape, they attract them, as children are attracted, with cakes… Whilst the pagan priests neglect the poor, the hated Galileans devote themselves to works of charity and by a display of false compassion have established and given effect to their pernicious errors. See their love-feasts and their tables spread for the indigent. Such practice is common among them and causes a contempt for our gods.

So if history rhymes, and if the greatest error the Pharisees, the Sadducees, the Zealots, and all the other religious groups of the day committed was to focus too much inwardly on their own piety, and outwardly on the sins of the people around them: what does that say about us today?

Is it possible, just possible, that we who follow Jesus are just a little too focused on the sins of our communities? Should we listen to Paul who asks, rhetorically, “What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church?” (1 Corinthians 5:12) Answer, none.

Should we listen to God who sent his people into exile in Babylon and then commanded them to seek the prosperity of Babylon? (Jeremiah 29:7)

What would it look like to let our good deeds shine before others? (Luke 5:16)

Listen. Dragging people out in front of Jesus for their sins and asking him to condemn them didn’t work the first time, and it’s not going to work today. Let us instead of blasting people for their shortcomings instead build people up, especially the poor and marginalized, and never give up in working towards the peace and prosperity of where God has planted us.

Maybe we will have a few less complaints about us on reddit.

And maybe God will do something really big like transform all of human history.

Again.

That would be good news, wouldn’t it?

Rode my road bike for the first time this year yesterday, and again this afternoon. Gosh I love bikes so much. And am I out of shape after a winter of reduced activity!

As spring comes, here’s your reminder to get outside. You’ll be glad you did.