One of the most powerful concepts I have ever come across is taking a step back to understand the difference between data and narrative.

Data points are objective snapshots of information. Bob has been late to 3 out of the last 5 meetings is an example of data.

Story is what we tell ourselves about the data. Bob is inconsiderate is an example of a story.

It may be true that Bob is rude and wastes other people’s time, but that is just one story that could be told from the data we have.

Here’s the super power: find other stories that fit the data. Here’s a few off the top of my head:

• Bob has unreliable transportation.

• This meeting time conflicts with dropping his child off at school.

• Bob’s attendance at this meeting is unnecessary.

• Bob is regularly double and triple booked.

Perhaps Bob is an inconsiderate jerk—but you actually have no idea from the information provided whether he is or isn’t. But our brains love to jump straight to stories (Bob is a jerk) with complete confidence (look at how often he’s been late). We’re so certain of our stories that we overlook how little information we really have.

I have made this jump more often than I know and have always regretted it. When I am able to step back and realize A does not necessarily imply B — I can take a step back and look at the situation objectively. Many times this means the stories I’ve been telling myself are wrong, and I can give more grace and kindness. But sometimes I find out that the stories I’ve been telling are too kind, and with some extra objectivity, I should expect better.

In both cases, taking a step back and looking at things with an objective lens and separating out what data I know and what stories I believe enables me to do better.